Reminder: We will no longer be posting in this blog.
Please visit me at https://wordpress.com/view/danalaquidara.com and subscribe to receive all future posts.
See you there!
~Dana
Reminder of Changes
Author: danalaquidara
New Year Changes
Happy 2022! Life keeps moving forward, ready or not, and with it comes more changes.
My daughter and former co-author Brittni is focusing on various fine art projects; her creative ambitions, along with being a full-time mom to four-year-old twins, keep her much too busy to continue writing here. This blog just isn’t the same without her, so I would like to invite you to visit me at my other online home at https://danalaquidara.com/ and subscribe to my weekly blog there.
I like to quote the late Joan Didion “I write entirely to find out what I’m thinking, what I’m looking at, what I see and what it means. What I want and what I fear.”
Hopefully we are all focused more on what we want than what we fear this year. I know I am, and I will be writing about it. I hope you will come along.
~Dana
Please visit me at https://danalaquidara.com/
December News
Happy December! I hope this season fills you with far more peace than stress, more healing than chaos, more open spaces for dreaming, breathing, being.
An excerpt from my book The Uncluttered Mother is available in the December 2021 issue of BaystateParent Magazine. If you are looking to simplify your holidays, you will enjoy “Have Yourself a Mediocre Holiday”. You can also read it here: https://www.baystateparent.com/story/lifestyle/family/2021/12/02/have-yourself-mediocre-holiday/8572493002/
If you want the whole book, The Uncluttered Mother is available as an apple ebook and ibook:
https://books.apple.com/us/book/the-uncluttered-mother/id1593686311?ls=1
And of course, on Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/dp/0875169163/ref=cm_sw_em_r_mt_dp_NF90YHKDCJ2K3WSGB0VF
If you enjoy this book, please consider leaving me a review! It would be greatly appreciated. I want to share my book with hardworking, overwhelmed moms, far and wide. Reviews are an important part of making this happen. Thank you!
Review here: http://www.amazon.com/review/create-review?&asin=0875169163
The Uncluttered Mother
Calling all moms who are looking for simplicity, clarity, peace of mind and creativity:
My new book is available for preorder on Amazon. I can hardly wait to share it with you!
Children’s Book in Progress
Slowly but surely, I’ve been writing and illustrating a children’s book over the past year when I find the time. When my kids see me working on it, they gather around and draw alongside me or watch and offer to pose as my references (which melts me)..Back when I decided I wanted children, I knew I still had many artistic adventures ahead of me, but my call toward motherhood was just as strong and certain, so I made it my goal to combine these two parts of myself. My kids are almost 4 now and I’m catching more and more frequent glimpses of the “mommy artist “ life I had envisioned. Each glimpse gets a little bit less tired, less sidetracked, less fleeting, and more hopeful, and that’s how I know I’m on the right track. Aiming to have this project in the hands of an agent in the not so distant future.
Yours Truly,
P.S. Follow me on instagram @laquibrit
Spring Makeover
Hi there.
We did not mean to be away so long, but we are glad you are here! This spring we have a new title and a fresh perspective- on creativity, motherhood, and life in general. We’ve got projects in the works too; I have a book coming out this fall titled The Uncluttered Mother (more on this soon!) and Brittni is working on a children’s book (more from her later!)
I’ve got some creative goals and projects in the works, and my 55th birthday is bearing down on me, so I’ve been doing a conscious clean sweep of all the things I no longer want to give time or energy to.
Here is my list of What I No Longer Have Time For:
Procrastination (“Do it, don’t deny it” is a phrase my husband coined many years ago when teaching our youngest daughter to be consistent in brushing and flossing her teeth every night. After that, it became our household catch-all when faced with any less-than-thrilling task.)
Excuses
Foods (and drinks) that don’t fuel me
Disempowering thoughts (seriously, our thoughts will make or break us)
Self-doubt
And here is my list of What I Do Have Time For:
Creative Goals (and the bold action they require, but more often the small, consistent steps)
Love
Joy
Mystery
Simplicity
Beauty
Believing in & encouraging others
What about you? What are you giving your precious time and energy to this spring? I hope those choices reveal how amazing you really are.
Yours Truly,
Dana
Relevance
In the midst of a pandemic I get my first book contract and let the cognitive dissonance settle in. I am elated! It is meaningless! By the time the book is published, will the words I’ve written even matter? In a world full of sickness and chaos, is art even relevant?
My husband and I go away to celebrate our 33rd anniversary. He is reluctant in these times, but I’ve found us a private spot on Cape Cod, we pack a bag, some food, and we go. On the drive down I am describing the adorable guest house I have secured for us. I am happy to escape the everydayness of our lives, the news, the impertinence of my writing. It is called the Sweetest Little Suite, I tell him.
It has probably been renamed The Covid Cabin, he quips.
Don’t make me laugh, I say. There is nowhere to pee.
I know the state of the country, the world for God’s sake, is not funny right now. It is dark and uncertain, but we need to laugh when we can because the crying will come too, if not for ourselves, for others.
It is freakishly warm for the middle of November, but we don’t see anyone else at the seashore except for maybe a few people sitting so far down the beach they are like large grains of sand, their movement almost imperceptible.
It starts off as a dare, me tempting my husband to jump into the crashing waves, and it ends with both of us running into the ocean, going under. He disappears first and when he pops up he is shouting for me to hurry before the next wave drags me violently across the sand. Shrieking, I dive in, my timing more a reflex of panic than any kind of strategy.
When you’ve been married this long, there aren’t many firsts you haven’t met; first home, first child, first move, job loss, illness. We’ve had them all. But this- today- swimming in the ocean in the middle of fall- for our November anniversary- this is a new first.
I emerge from the cold, invigorated. The sun warms my skin as it creates glitter across the water. The reflection is spectacular; there is so much light. I am insignificant, but at the same time connected to the brilliance of God’s creativity.
Fully present, mind and body in harmony, I take it all in. I see and feel the ocean, the world, as the most amazing work of art.
In this moment, the art is everything.
~ Dana
Writing Through Insomnia
Another night like this, suddenly wide awake. I don’t exactly feel panicked, my heart is not racing, but I am on high alert. What I am waiting for, I am not sure.
I’ve done all the things: no coffee after 10am. No wine. No electronics in the bedroom. Exercise. Mediation even. Yet most nights it is the same lately. I can predict before opening my eyes that the clock will read 1:30a.m. Sometimes 1:20.
My husband reaches out and touches my leg. He is letting me know he is awake now too. Was I tossing and turning? A middle of the night rendezvous; I resist the urge to speak. He will fall back asleep and there is nothing specific to say, to be anxious about. Well there is, actually. I mean the whole world is anxious now. Shouldn’t it be? I run through my list. Who shall I focus on this night? Family? The country? Humanity?
I do my yogic breathing. I decide not to waste this time on trying to assign a subject to my insomnia. Instead, I grab a pillow and notebook and go downstairs to settle on the couch. I may as well write something. Nothing will interrupt me at this hour, nothing outside my own head. The world is asleep, even as it is falling apart.
Not even my to-do list is calling me now. Phone calls to make, writing deadlines, laundry to do. Those are the affairs of daylight and I won’t engage such thoughts. I’ve been invited, against my wishes, but I’m here nonetheless, to do whatever I want in this dark hour. I figure something will happen if I put pen to paper, something to loosen this grip around my heart that is alerting me to I’m -not- sure- what. I am ready, so ready for whatever is going to happen, even if it is only on the page.
The windows are shut down here and I’m too tired to get up and open them, too busy writing. I am hot as hell now. My hair is getting long – I am not yet ready to venture into a hair salon, even with all the precautions in place. I’ve been snipping the ends of my unruly hair, one curl at a time, with the professional scissors I bought online. I pull it up on top of my head with the elastic around my wrist.
I’m so hot and so tired, I’m starting to feel nauseous. Tomorrow- which is today, technically- I will see what I’ve written, and if there’s anything worth saving.
I hear my husband upstairs, stirring. He is in the cool air-conditioned room and all of it is suddenly calling me now- the cool room, the soft bed, the husband.
I put down my pen and notebook and leave them on the couch next to the pillow. I will be back tomorrow night, same time, same place.
~ Dana
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This essay was originally published on Brevity’s nonfiction blog: via Writing Through Insomnia
Your Sensitive Child
There are many things parents can do to nurture and encourage highly sensitive kids, but I think the most important task is to love and accept them as they are. There is unspoken pressure on parents to coax sensitive, quiet or cautious kids into being more assertive, outgoing or bold at a very young age. Sometimes the pressure is put on the parents by themselves. They know how outgoing and funny their child can be at home and they are eager for the wider world to know her as well. Or they fear that if their child isn’t speaking up and joining in now, then they will be left behind in life.
But this hurry-up-and-be-braver-louder-friendlier approach will simply backfire if it feels like criticism to the child. A child who feels comfortable about who she is right now even if that means a little scared, a lot cautious or simply reflective and observant in certain situations, will grow to be confident and kind.
The best essay I’ve ever read on this subject Stop Worrying About Your Sensitive Child was written by Janet Lansbury, author of No Bad Kids. Having been a sensitive child herself, Lansbury remembers what attitudes did her more harm than good. Spoiler: Having parents who saw her sensitivity as a flaw that made her fragile was not helpful.
By not worrying about your sensitive child, Lansbury is not suggesting throwing them to the wolves, so to speak. Sensitive kids often need extra time, encouragement and warmth, and those who receive that can turn into the most amazing adults. What she is suggesting is to remember that your child’s temperament may be his greatest gift; even if the world is yelling too loudly to notice this, doesn’t mean it isn’t true. When your child knows in his heart that you trust that he is exactly who he is meant to be, he will blossom beyond your wildest predictions.
~ Dana
#30 days
#30 days left (minimum) of social distancing here in Massachusetts! How about you? Here are some fun/inspiring/challenging 30-day ideas for #athome:
Delicious: 30 plant based power bowl recipes
Gentle: 30 days of yoga
Challenging: 30 days of daily burn workouts
Inspiring: 30 days to declutter your home
Informative: The Alcohol Experiment audio & 30 days to interrupt your pattern
Let us know if you try any of these or other 30-day challenges! We have the power to raise the consciousness of the planet by raising our own, one good choice at a time. #stayhome #stayhealthy
Yours Truly 